Can i not drive my cunt home
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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