What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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