M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
