i permit you to call me
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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