chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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