You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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