dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
