You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
