I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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