i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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