My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Farmville is her only friend.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
