All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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