I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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