That's when you crack a 10am beer
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
