So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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