girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
