Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
