no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
