Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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