you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
