this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
