no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
