dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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