who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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