So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
