Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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