My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
