The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize