So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
