I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize