ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I will pee on everything he values.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
