WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
