yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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