Are we in a gay sports bar?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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