I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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