nut hugger
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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