Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
