I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
