sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
