Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
