garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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