what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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