hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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