can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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