I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
