I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
