they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
