i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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