so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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