i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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