Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
there was a trapeze. enough said
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
