at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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