Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
