Tell her she can't have a vagina
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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