my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
