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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Because men are children

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Touche

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.

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• (518): View more from New York

  it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!

  (647): View more from Ontario

  That is always a wonderful personality trait!

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.

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