he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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