youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
