And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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