White coat. Heels.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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