he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
