He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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