Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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